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Prompt was something like “humans from the perspective of an alien biologist.”


On Humans

I am often asked by readers and biology enthusiasts – “Graxon, you have seen the wide expanse of the galaxy, examined countless lifeforms, tell us, what is your favorite species?”

A difficult question dear reader, but one which I have considered in some depth.

There are a great many impressive lifeforms in our galaxy, each with their own sometimes fabulous strengths and, at times, extraordinary weaknesses.

Many species clearly dominate on one count, while flagging on others. Take the Loloths of Loll – a stronger race of beings may not exist in the universe – the result of the hyper intense gravity of Loll. Loloths have six stubby legs and a half spherical shell of super durable material. It is said of the Loloths that one could carry a normal sized moon on its back.

But, take a Loloth and remove it from Loll, and you have one very dead Loloth. They lack flexibility, in every sense of the word, and the species barely passes the test for sentience, the bulk of its evolutionary energies going toward developing its intense strength and gravitational resilience.

Alternatively, take the Dothorians of Dothor. A race of evolved vegetation, fully sentient and profoundly advanced in their philosophical and intellectual endeavors. Many a species would do well to learn from the Dothorians on matters of life satisfaction.

However, woe to the Dothorians if they are challenged by outside forces – they are a species almost entirely devoid of aggressive capacity. To some this is viewed as a point of honor, but in this author’s experience, a species without balance will not be a species for long, a lesson the Dothorians learned well enough themselves.

Which leads to my answer to the question – which species is my favorite.

For sheer malleability, capacity for complex and irrational emotion, peace and violence, physical and intellectual prowess, practical and impractical ingenuity – for all these things, I choose the Humans of Earth. Homo Sapiens Sapiens they call themselves, although the lay term they often use is just “People.”

The People of Earth have a great many positive characteristics, some of which can be rather violent. But I do not view a penchant for violence, especially in the early evolution of a species, as a negative trait. Indeed, violence is a necessary evil in this harsh universe im which we all reside, and for the budding lifeform there can be no future without it.

Humans have a real knack for it, perhaps even too much of a penchant for bloodlust. It was almost their end before they spread from their home world. But, today, they are a multi-solar species with excellent prospects for the future.

Now, it is true, what I’ve said, about the sheer flexibility of the human species, and to be sure, that plays a big part in my choice. But, dear reader, the real reason I enjoy the human, if I’m being completely honest – I think they are just the cutest life forms I’ve ever encountered.

Bear in mind, they take a little getting used to. Their long, bipedal frames; heavily textured faces, large wet eyeballs and gaping mouths can be disconcerting upon first encounter. These are not some simple race of furballs, easily and universally cuddled – humans need to grow on you.

But grow on you they will, good reader, until you just can’t get enough of their antics. What really gets me is their sense of self importance. They love to strut around, wearing non-functional clothes which expand on their relatively meager physical frames. They have the funniest set of habits with each other, mashing the soft parts of their faces together as a sign of affection, running around for no reason with one another playing various “sports”, which they treat very seriously.

Humans fancy themselves problem solvers, which, as a species, they are, in the great scheme of things. However, on an individual level, the average human being is delightfully stupid, and delightfully sure of itself. I keep several on board my menagerie in VR stasis, and often present them with highly improbable scenarios which they engage in wholesale, eager to use their beloved “imagination” – the term of art human’s use to describe ingenuity.

There are, of course, problems with the race. The human babes are horrendous, non-mobile slugs, truly despicable creatures, which defile themselves daily and cannot survive alone even a few cycles of their sun without passing away.

But soon enough the human’s true form begins to take shape, an aesthetically unique but ultimately gratifying aesthetic, which persists into advanced age, where the human takes on a slowness of pace which engenders in this author a certain quiet empathy.

Like any new species, Humans are initially bizarre and distasteful, but as I often say, this should never be the lens through which a species is viewed, no matter how strong the instinct.

Instead, a species must be experienced for at least a generation, ideally with full immersion, before a conclusion is drawn about them. It is from that vantage that I speak so positively of the human race, and strongly encourage other trans and inter dimensional beings, with the will and the resources, to spend time with them as well. You shall not be disappointed.


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